The Snodgrass'...Betty (Elizabeth), Tom, Tom O., Pat & Scott
Did we know it was going to happen?
One could say yes. I mean, he did just celebrate his 89th birthday. But...
After many different health scares in the past, he always seemed to pull through them. This time could be the same, right???
Maybe not this time.
Evidently, Grandfather had some awful cough going on. Tom (his son) and Kim (Tom's wife) told Grandmother to get him into Urgent Care. So they went the next morning. This all happened about a week and a half ago. Urgent Care had him go directly to the hospital. Double pneumonia. He was going to stay in the hospital. They did a test to see if his food was going down properly. No. The food was going to the lungs. In order for him to have proper nutrition, they were going to have to put a GI tube in him. The doctor that tried to do the procedure was unable to do so due to issues in his stomach. Those issues? I am not sure. I can only guess from years of taking different types of medication on little food...it can't be good for the insides. Without proper nutrition, especially at his age...
We got a call on Mothers Day from Scott's dad. He called to let us know that things were not looking good and we probably needed to prepare ourselves. We were in the car driving home from Mothers Day Brunch. Got home, packed, and off we went to Jeff City. It was imperative for us to see Grandfather. A drive to Jeff wasn't too far - about 90 minutes. We had time to see him and we needed to make that happen.
Grandfather doing what he loved doing best....dancing & being center of attention (Christmas 2012).
We drove to St. Mary's Hospital. Off the elevator, turned to the left and there was his room - right in front of us. He was sitting in a chair. Totally unable to communicate. Although trying to as he banged his hand/arm on the side of the chair. He looked in pain. Grandmother thought he looked in pain too. We finally got a hold of one of the nurses and asked about pain medication. She said he hadn't had anything and that if he wanted any, he could just ask for them. Say what? This man couldn't say A word MUCH LESS ask for his own pain meds. I was livid. Scott was beside himself as well. Grandmother said she asked for vaseline three times and still was yet to receive any....Grandfather's lips were so dry. She wanted to keep them moist for him.
I crumbled.
Why was this happening? The least these nurses could have done was ensured he had pain medication.
We got Grandfather moved to his bed for more comfort. We got the vaseline. And we got him on morphine every 2 hours.
Scott knew there was a reason we came to the hospital that day. And now we know why. In addition to being able to see a man we dearly loved.
Adeline was nervous as first. She didn't know what to think of everything. But after a bit she warmed up and realized it really was just her Great-Grandfather laying there. She sang to him, "Jesus Loves Me." But instead of singing 'Jesus Loves Me', she sang it TO Grandfather..."Jesus Loves You". IT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.
~Adeline...4 years old - Her Great-Grandfather...89 years old~
The legacy this man is leaving is beautiful.
Grandmother broke down a couple times during our time in the hospital. What was going through her mind? I have no idea. I can only imagine. She knew his time was near. They would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary later this year. My heart broke for her. My heart breaks right now as I type this blog post.
Scott reminds me that that will be us one day. IF we are lucky/blessed to live such a long life. I cannot even go there in my mind right now. The pain Grandmother is feeling...feels unbearable to me. In the hospital room Grandmother looks at us and says, "it goes fast." I bet in her mind, it still feels like yesterday that a handsome, young man by the name of Tom Snodgrass was sweeping her off her feet. Courting her until she finally decided to tie the knot with him! One, two, three sons later. And then - BOOM - she's holding her husband's hand as he is barely hanging on. Yes, THAT fast. Just like the song by Kenny Chesney, "Don't Blink"...
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
So much wisdom there. So much wisdom from Grandmother.
We stayed overnight & came back to the hospital the next morning before heading out. Scott was able to pray with his Grandfather. We were able to say goodbye.
Scott & his Grandfather...saying goodbye.
Quiet. Somber. Tears. Lots and lots of tears.
To sum up our car ride home that day. We knew it was the last time we would see Grandfather. It is SO HARD letting go. Even knowing he is going to a much better place.
Much to our surprise, Grandfather hung on a few more days. He passed away on May 15, 2013. Exactly 20 years after the death of his middle son, Bob. Very strange coincidence. It was just him and his son, Tom, in the room. Everyone had already said their goodbyes. Days earlier, they even put the phone up to his ear and got his youngest son, Pat, on the phone so that he could hear him as well (as he was in California). Everyone had already told him that it was OK to go. BUT...
Tom told him one more time. AND...
Just like that, Grandfather's breathing changed. He had a gasp of air. About 30 seconds or so after, one more gasp. And just like that. He was gone.
It is strange the thoughts that can go thru one's mind. But in this instance, I found myself thankful. Thankful that Grandfather wasn't alone when he took his last breath. Thankful that his first born son was right beside him.
Kim called me after speaking with Tom, and I called Scott. Surreal moment. Trying to process the news in our minds. We packed and headed back to Jefferson City. This trip, different than the last. This trip, we knew would happen all too fast.
Spending time with family truly was the best part of the trip. There's something about being with others that loved him so much too.
But being at Tom's house, I found myself glancing over at the front entrance time and time again. Whenever we would come for a visit, we could always be sure Grandfather would be popping in at some point. It would always put a smile on my face to see his smile as he walked around the corner from the hall entry and saw all of us there. He was a proud man. So very proud of his family. He never missed an opportunity to tell us, to tell me, how thankful he was I was part of their family. How much he loved all of us. THAT is something to remember. The importance of making every moment count. When you don't miss an opportunity, you don't have an opportunity for regrets. Words to live by.
A small, private ceremony at Resurrection Catholic Cemetery in Jefferson City, MO was held in honor of Grandfather Snodgrass yesterday, May 18th @ 10am. The priest, Grandmother, Tom & Kim, Pat & Paul, Me & Scott & Adeline & Graham, Britney, Josh & Blake. It was a beautiful, sun shining through the trees kind of day. Just a soft enough breeze to keep from being too hot. Grandmother said it was perfect.
So very thankful for this man's legacy.
That night, when tucking Adeline in to bed at her PaPa's, she didn't quite seem herself. I asked her what was wrong and as her voice cracked, she said, "I'm just sad". I asked her why she was sad. She said because she missed her Great Grandfather. Wow....the heart of a 4 year old. My heart broke again...and I just smiled at her as I pushed back tears and told her how much her Great Grandfather loved her. She asked why. Because you were and always will be a part of him and he was so very proud of you. Then I kissed her goodnight.
See you on the other side, Grandfather...
Thomas Wood Snodgrass
April 21, 1924 - May 15,
2013
Thomas Wood Snodgrass, 89,
of Jefferson City, Mo., died
Wednesday, May 15, 2013.
Mr. Snodgrass was born
April 21, 1924, in Little Rock, AR.,
son of William Rea Snodgrass and Sarah
Wood
Snodgrass.
He earned bachelor and master degrees from
George Peabody
College in Nashville, TN,
now part of Vanderbilt University. He also
attended
New Mexico Military Institute, University
of Arkansas, University of Miami and
Mexico City College. Mr. Snodgrass served in the 91st Infantry Division,
U.S.
Army, during World War II. He
participated in several actions in Italy
including
the capture of Florence and the battle to break through the
Gustav
and Gothic Lines. He was awarded the Combat Infantryman
Badge, Presidential
Unit Citation and Bronze Star of Heroic
Service.
His early professional life
focused on the health and wellness
of his fellow citizens. He held leadership
positions in several
non-profit organizations including March of Dimes and
American
Cancer Society. He was instrumental in raising
community awareness for social
welfare such as hunger,
HIV/AIDS, and aging. His advocacy for the elderly grew
from his
tenure as Executive Director, MO Health Care Association. In
later
years, he was a prominent consultant for long-term care
issues and served on
several gubernatorial advisory committees. He was a licensed Nursing Home
Administrator.
Mr. Snodgrass was a member of MO Association for Social
Welfare,
Public Relations Society of America, Sigma Alpha
Epsilon, Sons of American
Revolution, and Sons of Confederate
Veterans.
He is survived by his wife,
Betty (nee Burgi), whom he
married on November 26, 1953. He is also survived
by his sons,
Thomas O. Snodgrass (Kim) of Holts Summit and Patrick
Snodgrass
of Santa Cruz, CA; grandson, Scott Snodgrass
(Georgia), two great-grandchildren
and two step-grandchildren.
He was preceded in death by his son, Robert
Snodgrass who
died May 15, 1993 in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
Burial at Resurrection
Cemetery will be private.
Arrangements are under the direction of Heartland
Cremation,
Columbia, MO.
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