I gave notice of my resignation at The Mutual Fund Store. A place I have been at for over 6 years. A place I have loved working at for many reasons. A place I have made many wonderful relationships.
Change is hard.
And this change was bittersweet.
A high anxiety-ridden day as I anticipated how the call to my boss would go. Dave, as always, was calm and extremely supportive of our family's decision. Tentative last day of January 18, 2013.
Telling my staff was most difficult. I have spent more time with these guys than I have my own family over the past years. Sad in some ways, but true. We, in a sense, have also become a family here. It's a wonderful thing when you can say how much you will miss your co-workers. There isn't one that I don't enjoy, respect and appreciate. Of course, they are all different. All of us are unique in our own ways ~ that's the awesome part. Different personalities, different gifts that mesh together in this crazy world like a beautiful crochet blanket. I have to admit, it is a rare find. I have been part of other coporations in the past and I could not say that I would miss EVERYONE there. Here, I honestly can.
Another rare and treasured experience is the fact that the majority of us are believers. Believers as in Christ followers. Believers who are not afraid of ashamed to share their faith. To pray for one another. To lift one another up. Yes, a very precious treasure and a very big part of what I will miss most about my daily interactions at TMFS with my fellow co-workers.
So ~ where did this come from? Believe me, it wasn't out of the blue. Well, not exactly...
Honestly, this was a very difficult decision for me. I never thought of myself as a stay at home mama, but after this past summer, life changed. My heart changed. God changed my heart actually.
Graham was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms and to put it bluntly, my world was rocked. It was scary. And then there was another scare with possible lukemia. Praise God, that scare was removed and we now have Graham's seizures under control. But, in bed one night over this past summer when everything was in chaos, Scott asked me a question. "If you died tomorrow would you have any regrets?" I am not one to live with regrets, things happen for a reason, right? I am a bit more hard core in this area of my life. Having a motto of what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. But it was then I actually admitted I did have a regret. One regret in particular. That one regret is not being home with our kids more. And that the time we are together isn't so enjoyable. It's a rush-rush pace; hurry and get ready to get to work on time; hurry and get dinner on the table so we can get to bed on time. Wake up and do it all over again. A groundhog day you really want to end. So at that point, we began praying for God to open doors for us and to allow me the opportunity to be home more. In my heart, I know I won’t get this time back and I want to do my best to leave a God-loving lasting impression on the ones God has called me to watch over most in this life.
I sensed God reminding me constantly how fleeting this life is and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Reminder of how fragile this life truly is.
So, after many, many months of prayer and discernment, we felt God tell us to 'go'. To take a step in faith. Hence, my resignation.
A new opportunity was presented to me, to be Project Administrator for We Love St. Charles, a non-profit that our church created. My pastor, Marc, oversees this organization and has longed to have some assistance. He & the team decided it was time to move forward with a person on staff. So, while I will be stepping down from my full time position, I will not be completely out of commission (with work, that is). I accepted the position to work on a part time basis. The hours are very flexible and I will be able to do most work from home. SO, I will be home about 75% more than I am now! THAT will be amazing. I am not even sure how to take it all in right now as I type this. Being a part of something focused on giving back to the community as well as helping those in need is something I do not take lightly. I am extremely excited about this position as well as the mission of We Love St. Charles. I pray the mission grows abundantly and that many are effected in positive ways. That God will be looking down smiling on all of us working diligently to continue the great commission here locally.
It is very surreal.
My co-workers have received the news so well. Sad to see me go, but know I am doing the right thing for our family. And, I think two of my co-workers have secretly prayed this would happen all along. :) They were once stay-at-home mommys and know that one cannot put a value on that. I am very grateful for the support.
No doubt, we will have to make many cuts in our finances, but the sacrifice will be worth it in the end. When God says 'go', you go...
Those that know me well, know one of the main reasons why this decision was so difficult and that is because there are a lot of unknowns for our future. Frankly, I don't like that. If I had it "my" way, we would have it all figured out. Scott says that's the exciting part! Um, not exactly the adjective I would interject at this time. ;-)
But, boy do I love my husband. He said if we had it all figured out, it would leave no room for God. There must always be room for Him. That it will be exciting to see how HE works things out to get us thru this new chapter in our lives. When my faith lacks, my husband pulls me thru. So thankful for him. So thankful to God for allowing our family this opportunity. When I am faithless, HE is still faithful.
I knew it was time when I started to worry about missing out on God's blessings because I wanted to continue to play it safe. As a dear friend has stated, there's a fine line between faith and stupidity. I have to agree, that is a very honest and direct statement. A statement we must ask ourselves when making life changes. What I do know here is there is freedom and peace in doing what God is calling you to do.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." ~Psalm 28:7
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